Charisma is influence. In other words, getting others to do what you want them to do and like doing it. People get uneasy when you talk about influence, but just like power, it is neutral. Some feel it can’t be learned, others get uneasy that it might get misused and some pretend it is not that important. Charisma and influence go hand in hand. It can be used with your leadership, your company, your children and even for making the world a better place. Influence can get people to accept your ideas, brings people together and helps change stick. I am not talking about selling skills. I am talking about long-term sustainable change that people want to implement. There is a direct correlation between your ability to influence, your charisma and your income.
The challenge is most people influence the wrong way. You tend to influence how you like to be influence and that is completely wrong. You need to adapt to the person and to the situation. Most influence happens with subconscious triggers (see the subconscious section). Everything you do, everything you say or how you make them feel will affect how your audience feels about you. You are repelling people and you don’t even know it. When people sense a hint of force, deception, hype, or selling underlying any of your influence attempts, you will lose your charisma.
Audiences are tough. People have built a lot of resistance to the old style of persuading and influence; many people have built a brick wall of resistance even before you’ve even meet them. What can you do to overcome this tendency? Your influence attempts must be nonthreatening and natural. Forget loud and flashy. That strategy only encourages more resistance. And most definitely forget about high pressure. Not only does that solidify resistance, it closes the door to influence. When people feel they have been pressured, bullied, or coerced into doing something they don’t need or want, they become rebellious and resentful.