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Episode 195 – Lie Detection and Human Deception

Negotiation Versus Persuasion

Let’s talk about where negotiation fits into the world of persuasion and the difference between the two. Persuasion occurs when your ideas are so convincing that the other party ends up adopting your point of view. With persuasion, there is no compromising as there is in negotiation. Rather, the other party willfully and enthusiastically abandons their position to embrace yours. This abandonment is not brought about by manipulation because the other party clearly sees the gains and advantages of doing business with you.

Negotiation, on the other hand, is a process of give and take. It’s being able to overcome objections on both sides of an issue and ultimately reaching some common ground. While persuasion is the ultimate ideal, anytime any one of us is presenting our ideas, the other party is often equally committed to their own convictions, thus making negotiation the next best path.

Often when we hear the word “negotiation,” we think of a complex deal going on in the business world. In reality, however, all of us are involved in multiple negotiation processes every day. For example, when you want steak but your spouse wants lasagna, you may banter back and forth about why one is better than the other. In the end, however, you end up going to a place that offers a bit of both. In that instance, you may not have thought of yourself as negotiating, but that’s really what it was. Negotiation is so common in day-to-day life that you must master the skills of great negotiators to become a Master Persuader.



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Episode 194 – Sales Strategies of Top Producers– Scott Ingram

This episode features guest Scott Ingram -

In this episode learn all about why mindset and belief in yourself is absolutely fundamental. And the tips and tricks in getting yourself there. And how to show your customers/prospects that you truly care. 

Kurt and Scott discuss how important it is to be constantly learning, absorbing and surrounding yourself with the best.

They also discussed how most top sales people are more than willing to talk you about their sales process and share the information that they’ve learned. People want to give back and know that they were once at the beginning too. 

Who is doing it the best in your organization/niche? Figure out what they are doing and do the same thing.

Scott points out the one of the most important things is understanding who you are, your unique strengths and what the unique value is that you bring to the way you sell, and do more of that. “

Play up those unique strengths and values and be a more authentic and magnified version of yourself.

Scott Ingram is the host of the Sales Success Stories podcast where he interviews top sales people. Not just high ranking sellers either, everyone Scott talks with on his show is #1. He’s also an active sales professional himself.

I’m in sales, and I have always looked for ways to improve myself and achieve more but have been frustrated by the source of most of that content. Instead of hearing from “sales experts” who aren’t currently in sales (somebody selling themselves or some form of sales training doesn’t count); I want to learn from salespeople who are the best of the best. What are they doing to achieve more than anybody else

While this is a very selfish project for me to learn and improve myself, I hope that you can benefit as well. Please subscribe to the podcast, and I invite you to join our Sales Success Community where you’ll find a growing group of like-minded sales achievers.   

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Episode 193 – The Art of Persuasive Emails

The Value of the Simple Statement

Simple is better than complex. Since we are unable to recapture or replay our spoken words, we hope that they will be correctly interpreted the first time they are heard. Unfortunately, spoken words can be the most misread and misinterpreted form of communication, and therefore, can be a great hindrance to effective persuasion. When you’re in a persuasive situation, use simple, direct, and concise language, rather than fretting about how eloquent you’re sounding. Persuaders normally try to speak to the lowest common denominator.  You might feel smarter using big words, but simple words are more persuasive.  Complex words will cause people to pretend to understand, but will not be persuaded.

Following are some simple guidelines to keep your speech and verbal packaging on the right track.

· Don’t use technical language unless you are sure every member of your audience understands the meaning.

· Don’t use profanity. In general, using profanity damages your credibility.

· Be sensitive to whatever language your audience might find offensive or politically incorrect.

· Speak in everyday language. You want your audience to relate to you and to feel as comfortable with you as possible.

· Use language that will make you seem familiar and easy to follow.

· Keep your language simple and clear.

· Keep your sentences short. Use as few words as possible unless you are painting the picture?just one idea at a time.

· Use words that will engage the audience. Use “you,” “we,” and “us.”

· Don’t use vague and abstract words. They muddle your meaning and confuse your listener.

· Don’t talk down to your listener by using pompous and pretentious words.

· Use verb-driven language. By using verb-driven language, you will arouse a greater sense of action and motivation. Using action verbs will make your statement more convincing because your audience will engage their emotions, consciously and subconsciously. Verbs that are abstract or overused do not communicate excitement.

Attention-Grabbing Words  

With so many words in the English language to pick from, you must be very particular about which ones to use. Some will grab attention more than others. The following 21 words are commonly used to effectively persuade:

1.         Discover

2.         Guarantee

3.         Now

4.         Improve

5.         Results

6.         Save

7.         Health

8.         Wealth

9.         Quick

10.       Easy

11.       Money

12.       Free

13.       Avoid

14.       New

15.       Benefit

16.       Proven

17.       Prevent

18.       Transform

19.       You/Your

20.       Eliminate

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Episode 192 – Humor, Improv and Influence – Interview – Kelly Leonard

What Does Improv Have To Do With Business? With guest Kelly Leonard from

 The ability to thrive amid change requires 4 things:

 ·         The ability to recognize where you are in any given moment

·         The flexibility to choose a new path

·         A willingness to collaborate on a solution

·         The freedom to take a risk?and to learn from failure

Great tenets for doing business, right? But these just happen to also be the very same skills we employ in our arena. Improvisation is an art form developed from a need to enhance assimilation, empathy and collaboration.  We didn’t seek out this connection?the findings found us, to say the least. To be honest, we’re kicking ourselves that we didn’t see it sooner. In fact, existing academic research and data already points to the power of improvisation. Here are a few of our favorite examples:

 Divergent Thinking – “Improvisation encourages people to break away from set patterns of thinking.” -Carine Lewis, Peter J. Lovatt; University of Hertfordshire, UK

Negotiation – “Cooperative improvisation yielded more successful negotiations.” -Paul Ingram, William Duggan; Oxford Handbook of Critical Improvisation Studies

Decision Making – “Without improvisation, emergency management loses flexibility in the face of changing conditions.” ?David Mendonca, Giampiero E.G. Beroggi, William A. Wallace; Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute

Problem Solving – “Improvisation shows us creativity in action. If shows that ? in art, as in life ? failures and mistakes can be turned into chances for original and unpredictable achievements.” -Alessandro Bertinetto, University of Udino

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Episode 191 – Handle the Heckler – Audience Control

This podcast is going to focus on how to handle the heckler and maintain audience control in any situation.  One of the key factors is getting to know your audience.


It is critical that you understand where your audience is coming from and what their needs and wants are. What do they really want to know? What are they searching for? What information can you present to bridge the gap between what they feel and what they want? It’s important to understand your audience as a general group and also to get inside their minds as individuals.


Here are some questions you should ask yourself about your audience as you prepare:


?     Who am I trying to persuade?

?     What is the common background or interest that brings them together?

?     Who are these people as individuals (business people, students, mothers, etc.)?

?     What can I offer that they will universally care about and understand?

?      What types of things will they be looking to get out of my message?

?      In terms of my key point(s), are they likely to agree, disagree, or be  


?      Do I need to be aware of their political, religious, professional, or other


?       What is their average education and/or income level?

?       What is their general age range?

?       Will they tend to be more conservative or more liberal in their life views?

?       Is this likely to be an easygoing or demanding crowd?

?       How long will I be likely to keep them engaged? How much time is available?

?       Is what I have to offer appropriate for this audience?

?       What is my audience’s biggest challenge and how am I going to solve it?


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Episode 190 – Beliefs that Sabotage Success

Synchronized Beliefs

Very closely related to directing our thoughts are our beliefs or belief systems. Just as airplanes have guidance systems to direct them, so do we have systems guiding and shaping what we think, do, and believe. Without these influences, we will miss our intended destination, just like an airplane out of touch with the control tower would never be able to land.

 What if you had two control towers telling the pilots what to do? The results would be devastating. What many of us don’t realize is that we are tuned in to multiple guidance systems simultaneously. For example, we value the input of our parents, spouse, and close friends, and pay heed to rules of the community, society, and often religion. Since so many influences may conflict with one another, we have to prioritize who or what dictates our belief system. If we cannot synchronize these influences, we will wander through life, always missing the target because of our inability to synchronize our beliefs. Great persuaders hit their targets more often because of a well-synchronized belief system.


It may be a very helpful exercise to pinpoint the main beliefs that are shaping your life and to determine whether or not any of them are in conflict with each other.


Consider the following possible conflicts of interest:

            The pursuit of wealth                      “Money is the root of all evil”

            Job security                                       Entrepreneurial freedom

            Making it to the top                         “Family comes first”

            Love of eating                                   Healthy body

            Adventurous                                    Ducks in a row

            You only live once                           Restraint, moderation

            More free time                                  Pursue financial independence

            Reduce debt                                      Start investing

            Successful business                         Successful parent

            Spiritual                                             Wealthy


After you have identified which beliefs shape your life, you need to determine which beliefs represent personal truths for you and which ones you have simply acquired by social and cultural osmosis. Upon closer study, we often find that much of what we believe has not come through our own thoughtful searching. Rather, it comes through imitating what society teaches is appropriate, and what we have been exposed to at home, school, or work. In order to truly change, grow, and prosper, we need to be consciously aware of the rules we’ve made for ourselves, where they have come from, and what they’re based on. Do they all serve you? Or are they sabotaging you? It is time to take ownership of your beliefs.


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Episode 189 – Leadership Expert – Jon Gordon

Jon Gordon’s best-selling books and talks have inspired readers and audiences around the world. His principles have been put to the test by numerous NFL, NBA, MLB coaches and teams, Fortune 500 companies, school districts, hospitals and non-profits. He is the author of numerous best-selling books including The Energy Bus, The Carpenter, Training Camp, The Seed, You Win in the Locker Room First and The No Complaining Rule. Jon and his tips have been featured on The Today Show, CNN, CNBC, The Golf Channel, Fox and Friends and in numerous magazines and newspapers. His clients include The Los Angeles Dodgers, The Atlanta Falcons, Campbell Soup, Dell, Publix, Southwest Airlines, LA Clippers, Miami Heat, Pittsburgh Pirates, BB&T Bank, Clemson Football, Northwestern Mutual, Bayer, West Point Academy and more.

The Power of Positive Leadership

Great leaders understand that people drive the numbers, not the other way around; to win, you must win with people, and this book shows you how. It all begins with your decision to become a positive leader, and the understanding that leadership is not just about what you can do, but what you can inspire, encourage, and empower others to do. You’ll learn to bring out the best in each of your employees by sharing the best within you; instead of running over people to achieve your goals, invite them on board; together, you can achieve more than you ever thought possible.

 Difficult times call for leaders who are up for the challenge. Results are the byproduct of your culture, teamwork, vision, talent, innovation, execution, and commitment; this book shows you how to bring it all together to become a powerfully positive leader.

 Discover the true drivers of short- and long-term success.

Learn what leadership is really about.

Cultivate the habits and outlook of successful leaders.

Strengthen your people and let the results speak for themselves.

Find the right people, invest in them, nurture them, and develop them; as they grow, so do you. The Power of Positive Leadership helps you become the person you want to be, and the leader your people need.

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Episode 188 – Charisma #3 – Inner-Charisma – Your Inside Dictates Your Outside

Charismatics have the ability to focus quickly in the moment similar to great athletes.  To master the area of focus and concentration, we must implement what athletes do before, during and after the competition.  

?           Visualize the win or the outcome before it happens

?           Constant self-discipline even when it hurts

?           Refocus after failure and learn from those mistakes

?           Instantly replace negative thoughts with positive ones

?           Have the ability to quickly change their state of mind

?           Able to concentrate during heavy distractions 


The key is to begin to focus and concentrate a little at a time.  Today try to focus and stay on a task for five minutes.  Where can you go?   What do you need to do to avoid distractions?  As you progress with this skill, add the length of time and your ability to limit distractions.  The second thing is to figure out what block of the day is your most productive time?  Is it the morning, the afternoon or the evening?  This is the time when you do your most important and difficult work.  Find that time when it is the easiest to concentrate and get things done.  When you truly master your ability to focus, not only is it easier to influence others, you will be able to accomplish ten times more in half the amount of time.

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Episode 187 – Charisma #2 – Empowering Others & Contagious Cooperation

Many think that when they get into positions of leadership or prominence that others should be serving them or looking up to them.  This is great way to turn people off and decrease your ability to be charismatic.  If your only focus is on you, then eventually all then the focus will be off you.  Sure others might run to your attention, but they are doing it for money or recognition, they are not doing it because of who you are.  When you start to focus on others, show some kindness and offer goodwill, offer some charity, and the focus will return to you.  When you look for the good in others you become better yourself.  When you start looking for ways to serve, not only do you open the doors to influence, it increases your well being and your happiness.


You demonstrate goodwill by focusing on positives and being careful with the negatives.  Don’t be harsh or forceful when dealing with people.  Remember most people can be highly sensitive or feel overly vulnerable. (Remember esteem)  Watch your statements and your actions and always show that you have the audience’s best interest in mind.   Never criticize someone unless you really need to and do it the right way.  Criticism damages your relationship and destroys the connection you have with them and hurts your charisma.  Instead, find something positive and show goodwill.  This will increase acceptance and self-confidence.  Many times we correct or criticize in the wrong way and this destroys the possibility for leadership, loyalty and charisma.  Anytime someone feels stupid or you are perceived as inconsiderate and your ability to lead or influence diminishes.  Little do most people know that their comments cause rebellion and resentment.  Show you care, show some goodwill and you automatically will transfer charisma.


A big part of goodwill is the mindset of abundance.  Abundance is a state of mind that allows you to give knowing that the universe will reward you.  You don’t do it for the reward, you do it because it is the right thing to do.  As author Stephen Covey said “the abundance mentality (which) flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security.  It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody…. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity.”  You know that when you give of your time, money or even skills that it is not only the right thing to do, it increases your abundance, your health and your happiness and your charisma.  Get past the scarcity mentality society has given you and see the abundance the world has to offer.  Realize we are all on the same human team and we all have different strengths and weaknesses.  Always be willing to share your strengths and someone will appear to help you with your weaknesses.

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Episode 186 – Charisma #1 – Presence – What Do You Radiate?

Passion is very contagious.  When you transfer this passion, the people around you start to radiate that passion.  They perform better, if it is at work, it is no longer work.  They become more proactive, more willing to work as a team and become more optimistic.  When you have tapped into this passion you become more determined and it increases your persistence.  It starts to become a burning desire and consumes you and it radiates to others.  A word of caution, just because you are passionate does not mean you can forego learning the skills you need to be successful.  It is a critical piece of the charisma pie, but you still need more pieces of the pie to radiate powerful long-term charisma.

More than anything else, passion recruits the hearts and minds of your audience.  Charismatics radiate heartfelt passion.  When the audience can sense your passion and sincere conviction for your cause, they will emotionally jump on board.  We all love people who are excited and filled with believable passion for their subject.  Passion is critical to influencing others and transmitting charisma.  When you have passion for something, you want to let everyone know about it.  You want to convert as many people to your cause as possible, and when someone disagrees with you, you are not swayed by their opinions or advice.  


Remember to test out your personal pics.  The website we talked about was


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