Category Archives: PodCasts

Episode 175 – The Energy of Influence

Energy of Influence

      Another way to enhance your ability to motivate yourself and others is to make sure all things are balanced in your life. Great persuaders lead a balanced life and keep everything in perspective. I call this delicate balance “life alignment.” Make sure there is balance in every aspect of your life. Imbalance can undermine motivation and cause inaction and unhappiness. Many times, we quit early because of imbalance, even when we don’t realize an imbalance exists. It may be only one area of our life that is out of whack, but it can still have a direct effect on other areas of our life. Just as in a mutual fund, where one bad stock can pull down the fund’s overall value, one bad area in your life can also have a disproportionate negative effect. 

            Ask yourself these questions: Would I invest in my own mutual fund of myself? Would I suggest that my family or friends invest in me? These are hard questions to ask, but the answers to them are necessary as you get your life on track. Take a look at the stocks in which you have invested in your own life. What stock is pulling the rest of your portfolio down? Are you a growing mutual fund or is your mutual fund losing money? Is your fund stagnant? If you won’t invest in your personal mutual fund (yourself), who will? 

            When we look at life, we have to realize that it is not lived in segments, but rather, it is part of a greater whole. Every aspect of your life will either help or hurt the rest of your life. Our aim is to get all aspects working together to create a high-performing fund. Realize, however, that you can invest too much in one aspect of your life. When you do, you can get unbalanced just like a tire on a car. Even too much of a good thing can lead to disaster. 

            As you invest in yourself, you must make sure you are diversifying in the following six areas: We often spend too much of our time spinning our wheels and investing in stock that has no value or that is diminishing the value of our mutual fund. We get so busy buying the stock society recommends that we forget to examine whether this stock is helping or hurting us. There may also be times when you need to sell a stock (change a habit or belief) because it is not performing. We always need to make sure that we are a growth fund and that we are continually investing the right things in ourselves. If we neglect any one of the life-alignment areas, our overall happiness and success will diminish.

link to article: 

http://psychcentral.com/news/2016/05/02/evidence-found-for-visual-stereotyping/102596.html

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Episode 174 – Getting Past The Gatekeeper

The Law of Obligation, also known as pre-giving or reciprocity, states that when others do something for us, we feel a strong need, or urge, to return the favor. Returning the favor rids us of the obligation created by the first good deed. The adage “one good turn deserves another” is a part of social conditioning in every culture. And, even beyond that, the maxim serves as an ethical code that does not necessarily need to be taught, but nevertheless is understood. For example, when someone smiles or gives us a compliment, we feel a great need to return the smile or compliment. Even when these gestures are unsolicited, we feel a sense of urgency to repay the person who has created the mental or psychological debt. In some cases, our need to subconsciously repay this debt is so overwhelming that we end up dramatically exceeding the original favor. The reciprocity trigger created by the car salesman’s water is a classic example of this principle. Most of us keep a mental scorecard of these favors.

The drive to alleviate feelings of obligation is so powerful that it can make us bend toward people we don’t even know. Accepting gifts or favors without attempting to return them is universally viewed as selfish, greedy, and heartless. It is often strictly due to this internal and external pressure that people conform to the rule of reciprocity. One university professor chose names at random from a telephone directory, and then sent these complete strangers his Christmas cards. Holiday cards addressed to him came pouring back, all from people who did not know him and, for that matter, who had never even heard of him.  I had a student raise his hand at a seminar and said, I know him and he is still getting Christmas cards from strangers over 20 years later.  Can you believe people have sent out Christmas cards all these years to someone they didn’t even know?

 Article:  http://psych.colorado.edu/~vanboven/teaching/p7536_heurbias/p7536_readings/kruger_dunning.pdf

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Episode 173 – How Aroma Can Help/Hurt Influence

Smells: The Aroma of Persuasion

We all know what the smell of movie popcorn does to us. Smell is directly linked to our emotions.  Our sense of smell is so powerful that it can quickly trigger associations with memories and emotions. Our olfactory system is a primitive sense that is wired directly to the center of our brain. By four to six weeks, infants can tell the difference between their own mother’s scent and that of a stranger.  Almost everyone has experienced situations in which a smell evoked a nostalgic (or not so nostalgic) memory. Think of the smells that take you back to your childhood. For some it is the smell of fresh baked bread, or freshly cut grass, or of the neighborhood swimming pool. You can go back twenty years in a matter of seconds with the sense of smell. Smells require little mental effort to be experienced and the subconscious reaction happens with little conscious attention.

 

There have been numerous studies conducted on the impact scent and fragrances have on association. A study conducted among undergraduate students found that female students wearing perfume were rated as more attractive by male students.  Scents were even found to improve scores on job evaluations. Of course, offensive odors can also be used (and have been used) to evoke a negative response. This technique was once used while campaign committees were rating and appraising political slogans. Not surprisingly offensive odors caused the ratings for the slogans to go down.  The smell of citrus Windex helped people to be more generous with their money and time towards the habitat of humanity.  Cleaning aromas also help more people be honest and fair and their dealings with others.

Article Link

 http://healthland.time.com/2013/12/16/my-nose-made-me-buy-it-how-retailers-use-smell-and-other-tricks-to-get-you-to-spend-spend-spend/

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Episode 172 – 4 Power Skills of Persuasion

Summary:

Talking Too Much 

  Being an extrovert, having the gift of gab, or being able to make small talk with anyone you meet can definitely be used to your advantage, but watch yourself. How can you persuade if you are always talking? It will be very annoying to your audience if they sense that you like hearing yourself talk more than listening to their concerns. Remember, it’s about them, not you. Great persuaders listen more than they talk. In fact, great persuaders use their listening and questioning skills to get their audience to persuade themselves. 

 

Often when someone comes to you, she already knows what she wants. She already has something in mind. She just needs to talk through it with someone. Which approach do you think will have better, longer-term results: you persuading your audience, or you helping them persuade themselves? It’s much better if your audience feels as if they have made the decision themselves, without perceived external influences. When you do have to talk, be succinct and to the point. A good rule of thumb is not to talk more than 30 percent of the time. 

Link to article: http://foodpsychology.cornell.edu/discoveries/curse-chinese-buffet

 

Now, with these general guidelines in place, it is worth pointing out that you must always be prepared to adapt and adjust to the personality type of your audience. For some people, talking 30 percent of the time will still be too much. Discussing only what is relevant to the matter at hand and keeping chit-chat to a minimum is best for these no-nonsense types. Your attempts at being their buddy will likely annoy and maybe even offend them. Some people feel that being overly warm and personable is not appropriate when you have just met someone for the very first time. Polite and professional, yes, but warm and fuzzy, no. The bottom line is, don’t get too friendly too fast

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Podcast 171 – Networking with Stephanie Burroughs

Today I interviewed Dr. Stephanie Burroughs.  She is the author of Dating Your Business Prospect.  She looks at networking in a whole new light.  She calls it 360 networking.  She explains how to use social media and expanding you social media with face to face and belly to belly networking.  She will answer the following questions on the Maximize Your Influence Podcast

 

How to you prepare for this encounter with an important prospect?

How do you approach them without looking like a fool?

What does the perfect follow-up look like?

 

Stephanie Burroughs Bio

Dr. Stephanie D. Burroughs, President of StephanieSpeaking LLC began her minority business advocacy in 1980, while working in the construction industry providing contract compliance monitoring for M/W/DBE programs. She later increased her competencies by providing program development, project management and diversity certification auditing services. 

 

StephanieSpeaking LLC provides speaking, workshop facilitation and business navigation services for minority, women, veteran, and small business owners. The company helps business owners overcome fear, confusion and stagnation by providing clear instruction and easily integrated strategies on how to successfully navigate and compete for government and public contracts. Dr. Burroughs is known for her inspirational, holistic and common sense approach resulting in many clients and audience members experiencing thought-life transformation; thereby changing their outlook and approach to their business and life endeavors.

 

Dr. Stephanie D. Burroughs is a graduate of Rutgers University and currently resides in New Jersey.

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Podcast 170 – Eye Contact: Deception or Influence?

The New Year is here and your influence skills are more critical than ever.  You have heard enough about goals – so let’s focus on those persuasion tools.  Does your eye contact help you influence or does it trigger deception cues?  Are you reading your prospect’s eyes to adjust your presentation?  Let’s find out the power of your eyes.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The eyes of men converse as much as their tongues.” The more common phrase we hear is “the eyes are the windows to the soul.” Through our eyes, we can gauge the truthfulness, attitude, and feelings of a speaker. Not making the proper amount of eye contact can have devastating results. Our pupils are one of the most sensitive and complicated parts of our body. They react to light, but they also respond to our emotions, revealing a variety of feelings.

Making eye contact can also convey love or passion. In a number of studies on eye contact and attraction, researchers found that simply looking into one another’s eyes can create passionate feelings. In one particular case, two members of the opposite sex who were complete strangers were found to have amorous feelings toward each other after merely gazing into one another’s eyes.   In another study, beggars were interviewed about their “tactics” for getting donations. Several of the beggars stated that one of the very first things they tried to do was establish eye contact. They claimed that making eye contact made it harder for people to pretend they hadn’t seen them, to ignore them, or to just keep walking.  Other studies have shown that public speakers who make more eye contact, use pleasant facial expressions, and incorporate appropriate gestures into their speeches have more persuasive power than speakers who do not.

What do we need to know about the eyes?

Sunglasses – Hide the eyes and arouse distrust

Avoidance of eye contact – Lack of confidence

Less than 50% eye contact – Insincere and distant

Increased eye contact – Starting to accommodate or acceptance

Rapid blinking – Resistance to what has been done or said

Extended eye contact – Anger, love or frustration

Pupils dilate – Interested, and receptive

Episode 169 – Dealing With the Angry Prospect

Anger is a secondary emotion. A prospect’s anger is usually an indicator that something else is askew and that he needs or wants attention.  When we are angry – we want attention or action now. You can assist in diminishing his anger by determining the key issue he is upset about. It is also often effective to ask for his help, opinions, or advice. This will usually diffuse his anger or even change his attitude and demeanor completely. In some circumstances, you may want to use anger to make a certain point or to evoke a certain reaction. However when someone is angry they are more likely to blame someone else. In their mind it is not their fault. When they are sad they will usually blame the situation.

When people become angry they tend to rely on intuition or an educated guess.  Anger triggers non analytical information processing.   Anger causes us to use mental shortcuts to decide if the argument is right.   An experiment was done that induced anger. The participants that were angry tended to discriminate between weak and strong persuasive arguments more than those in a neutral mood.  In other words, those that were angry tended to be more influenced by heuristic cues (intuition) than those in a sad or neutral mood.

Episode 168 – What Puts the “Brakes” on Success

Willingness to confront your fears is critical to mental programming. Great persuaders have mastered their fears. You will be tempted to leave your fears buried, but they will invariably come back to haunt you. It is much better to deal with fears directly, especially considering that whatever we fear most is never as bad as we think. Human infants are born with only two fears: fear of falling and fear of loud noises. A newborn baby fears nothing else. All other fears are learned. The good news is that if we can learn fears, we can unlearn them.

How do you unlearn a deeply ingrained fear? You must face it. That’s right—you must deliberately put yourself in the situation where you are confronted with it and there is no escape. Any new skill comes only through extensive practice. There is no way around it. Let’s say you have a terrible fear of public speaking. If you want to be a brilliant public speaker, then you’ve got a lot of public speaking to do. You must force yourself to present to others over and over again. Comedian Jerry Seinfeld jokes about how people are more afraid of public speaking than of dying. He says they would rather be in the casket than delivering the eulogy! The truth is, we usually find out, once we’ve stepped up and faced a fear directly, that it wasn’t so bad. Most of our fears are exaggerated doubts or they are based on unrealities. How will you ever come to this realization if you don’t look your fears in the face?

Episode 167 – Interview with Matt Powell on “Brain Wiring”

On Episode 167 of Maximize Your Influence, Kurt and Steve interview Matt Powell.

Matt asks an important question other personal growth planning books never ask: what if you are choosing the wrong goals? Having taught thousands of students and selling thousands of books on learning methods, Matt brings his systematic approach to achieving goals and changing your future. The best planning process in the world won’t help you if you are choosing the wrong goals. After cutting through the reality of the ‘why’ we fail instead of the ‘what’ we fail doing, Matt shows you how to stop failing in the future, a full proof method of choosing the right goals, and then build on your success.  Matt’s book gives you one of the most in-depth ‘how to’ methods you’ve ever experienced…taking you from last year’s successes to fixing your failures, from understanding your routes to success to setting your calendar up for achieving goals. Topics include – How to ‘undo’ the past – cutting ties with the failures – The keys to understanding why you fail, not what you fail doing – Success planning for all areas of your life – Creating attainable goals you’ll be able to achieve – The psychology and neurology of failure and how to change quickly – Learning from failure – how avoiding failure is a failure – How to reduce stress and increase time management – Understanding and using the four kinds of ‘success capital’ you have right now – Productivity planner and planning using the Hierarchy of Attainability – A method for achieving even the hardest goals immediately…plus much much more.  Check out the interview to see how Matt’s power packed information on “Brain Wiring” will better help you achieve success!

Episode 166 – Double Your Referrals With Donald Kelly

If you’ve been in sales or business for long, you know that a “referred” lead is 10 times better than most cold calls.  On this episode, Kurt and Steve interview Donald Kelly, the Sales Evangelist about how you can double your referrals!

Just like most of you, Donald Kelly is a real life B2B sales professional hustling in the world of software sales. If you’re like him, you had no clue how to really sell when you started in sales. Over the years, Donald has received training/coaching from some of the industry’s leading experts. He applied what he was learning and started seeing a significant difference in his performance and income. He started doing “BIG THINGS”! He personally feels that when you find something of value you should share it! That’s why he love sales so much.

He became very passionate and started “evangelizing” about sales and was dubbed “The Sales Evangelist”. Donald offers some of the top training on sales and referral generation in the market today!