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Episode 227 – Expectations And The Impact of Suggestion

The Law of Expectations AND The Impact of Suggestion

 The Law of Expectations uses expectations to influence reality and create results. Individuals tend to make decisions based on how others expect them to behave or perform. As a result, people fulfill those expectations whether positive or negative. 

Expectations have a powerful impact on those we trust and respect, but, interestingly, an impact on strangers. When we know someone expects something from us, we will try to satisfy him or her in order to gain respect, trust and likability.

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 You know the saying, “What gets measured, gets done.” The same is true for expectations. That which is expected is what actually happens. People rise to meet your expectations of them. This is a powerful force that can lead to the improvement or destruction of a person. You can express an expectation of doubt, lack of confidence, and skepticism, and you will see the results.  

 We communicate our expectations in a variety of ways. It may be through our language, our word choice, voice inflections, or our body language. Think of a time when you’ve been introduced to someone. Usually, if they introduce themselves by their first name, then you do the same. If they give their first and last name, you do likewise.

 Whether you realize it or not, you accept cues from others regarding their expectations and you act accordingly. Similarly, we all unknowingly send out our own cues and expectations. The power is in using the Law of Expectations consciously!

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Episode 226 – The Science of Rapport

A great persuader can connect with anyone in thirty seconds or less. First impressions take only seconds to form, but they last a lifetime. This is a critical skill to develop because the cement dries fast.

How do you ensure that you’re making those early seconds really count? That first judgment or opinion about you is vital to your success. In this fast-paced world, you probably won’t get a second chance?you have to make it happen the first time.

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Rapport is equivalent to being on the same wavelength with the other person. Rapport is the key to mutual trust. With rapport, we can differ in our opinions with someone else yet still feel a strong bond. Rapport can even exist between two people with little in common.

Many persuaders can’t tell if they’re connecting. They think that they’re doing everything right, that they’re doing all the stereotypical rapport-building things: being friendly, enthusiastic, or fun. But the reality is that in most cases, they are not building rapport and are failing to connect with their audience.

Studies show that not only do 75 percent of people not like all the “gushy, chit-chatty stuff,” but 99 percent of them won’t even bother to stop you when they’re annoyed.  The proverbial bad salesman comes to mind here. He acts too chummy and tells stupid jokes, all the while thinking everyone loves him.

You’ve probably met him. What did you do when you met this person? If you’re like most people, you politely endured the encounter, made up some excuse to get him off your back, and then swore to yourself that’d you’d never get stuck talking to him again. Reality check: This annoying person could be you.

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Episode 225 – Major Sales Mistakes Costing You Money #2

Research demonstrates that 81 percent of persuaders talk more than necessary during the persuasion process. They are talking too much,7 and you are likely talking too much.

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When we talk too much and fail to allow our audience to ask questions, it increases the thickness of the brick wall of resistance. Consider the doctor analogy to persuasion, meaning you have to listen and ask questions before you can diagnose the problem. The doctor does not come into the examination room and try to sell you on a prescription without first asking questions or trying to discover what you really need. Like a physician, you need to step back and be able to absorb and evaluate everything your audience is saying. While monitoring persuaders, I have found a constant epidemic of overpersuasion and regurgitating too many features.

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Ask yourself the following questions to determine whether or not you ever overpersuade or flood them with too much information:

  • Do you interrupt your audience in your eagerness to highlight another point before they have finished?
  • Are you worried about making the sale or satisfying a new customer?
  • Do you ever lose their eye contact or get a glazed look?
  • Do they seem stressed, indifferent, or agitated?
  • Does your audience seem overwhelmed or confused?
  • Are you concentrating on what you need to say next instead of listening?
  • Is your audience giving you excuses and objections that you’ve already covered or that you know aren’t really true?
  • Do their nonverbal signals tell you they are getting ready to run?
  • Are you talking about yourself instead of discovering their needs?

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Episode 224 – Major Sales Mistakes Costing You Money #1

Common Obstacles That Limit Your Persuasion Success

The worst time to learn a persuasion skill is when you need it. Persuasion must be mastered before it is needed, or the opportunity is lost forever. In all the years that I have worked in persuasion, sales, influence, and leadership, I have never yet found a perfect persuader.

 Ironically, one area of persuasion that is easily overlooked is the very one that would make everything else fall into place. You’ve probably heard the old adage, “Dull knives work the hardest.” Working hard is not the same as working smart. Are your knives sharp? Are you working smart?

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If you sharpened up in this one area, you’d likely be working more efficiently overall. Check yourself. Are you just going through the motions? Are you still using the same old tools over and over again without seeing the desired results? Or worse, are you making the same old mistakes over and over again? Are you making less than you could because of common “old-school” persuasion mistakes?

 There are things you are doing right now that cause people to resist you and your message. My research shows that there are common obstacles mediocre persuaders make that limit their success and income.

 Each obstacle is like driving around town with your emergency brake on. You are wondering why your car never has much power. These problems are simple to fix, but expensive to have.

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Episode 223 – The Zegarnik Effect: Engage and Persuade

Zeigarnik Effect

When we feel we’ve been left hanging, it drives us crazy! We want to know the end of the story. What is the missing piece? We want our tasks to be completed so we can check them off our list. This is also known as the “Zeigarnik Effect,” named after Bluma Zeigarnik, a Russian psychologist. This effect is the tendency we have to remember uncompleted thoughts, ideas, or tasks more than completed ones.

The story goes the Bluma Zeigarnik was sitting in a café in Vienna when she observed that a waiter could remember everything someone had ordered, but once the food was delivered the waiter forgot everything.  This led for her to realize that it is easier to remember everything about an uncompleted task, but once the task is completed the memory will immediately fade. 

 

That uncompleted task will hold onto our memory, improve the recall and help us remember. We experience intrusive and almost nagging thoughts about a goal or an objective that was left incomplete.  It is built into our psyche to want to finish what we start.

 

We see the Zeigarnik Effect on the television news and other programs. Right before a commercial break, the newscasters announce some interesting tidbit that will come later in the hour. This piques your interest and, rather than flipping the channel, you stay tuned. Movies and dramas on television also leave you hanging in suspense.

By leaving something uncompleted right before the commercial break, the programs draw our attention, keep us involved, and motivate us to continue watching. We don’t feel satisfaction until we receive finality, closure, or resolution to the message, our goals, or any aspect of our life.  Incomplete tasks trigger thoughts. The thoughts of the incomplete task trigger more memory retention.  More memory retention triggers anxiety that triggers more thoughts of the uncompleted business.

You also see the Zeigarnik Effect in the courtroom. We already know that people feel more confident and impressed with information they discover for themselves over time. This dictates that persuaders slowly dispel information, rather than dumping large volumes of information all at once. A good lawyer does not disclose everything he knows about the case or the plaintiff during his opening statement. As the trial progresses, the jury can fill in the blanks for themselves with the additional information they gradually receive.

This works much better than dumping all the information on them in the beginning. It holds the jurors’ attention longer and gives the message more validity. The jury discovers the answers for themselves, and is more likely to arrive at the desired conclusion. 

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Episode 222 – How to Deal With Refund, Complaints and Buyers Remorse

 “Buyer’s remorse” is also a form of dissonance. When we purchase a product or service, we tend to look for ways to convince ourselves that we made the right decision. If the people around us or other factors make us question our decision, we experience buyer’s remorse. On feeling this inconsistency, we’ll look for anything?facts, peer validation, expert opinion?to reduce the dissonance in our minds concerning the purchase.

Some of us even use selective exposure to minimize the risk of seeing or hearing something that could cause dissonance. Often people won’t even tell family or friends about their purchase or decision because they know it will create dissonance.

Asking for a refund, complaining about the product or representative, or having remorse can all be forms of dissonance.  If you handle your prospect the wrong way it increases dissonance and they will demand a refund.

 

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Episode 221 – How To Be More Attractive (And More Likeable)

I am not going to be politically correct in this section.  I know it is not fair.  I know we should not judge, I am here to help you with reality.  Everyone judges and some of these items are things you can fix, some of them you can’t.  Focus on the things you can improve and don’t worry about the rest.  This attraction is also called the Halo Effect. It operates by making one positive characteristic of a person affect other people’s overall perception of him. Because of this halo effect, people automatically associate traits of kindness, trust, and intelligence with people who are attractive.

We naturally try to please people we like and find attractive. If your audience likes you, they will forgive you for your “wrongs” and remember your “rights.”

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In fact, studies show that people who are physically attractive are better able to persuade others. They are also perceived as friendlier and more talented, and they usually have higher incomes.  “Attractive” means more than just looking beautiful or handsome. It also encompasses having the ability to attract and draw people to you.  Your physical attractiveness will influence attitude change, enhance your expertise and increase agreement.

The effect of attractiveness transcends all situations. For example, the judicial system, which is supposed to be based upon evidence, has documented cases where attractiveness made a dramatic difference. In one Pennsylvania study, researchers rated the attractiveness of seventy-four male defendants at the start of their criminal trials. Later, the researchers reviewed the court records for the decisions in these cases and found that the handsome men had received significantly lighter sentences.

In fact, those researchers found that the attractive defendants were twice as likely to avoid jail time as unattractive defendants. In the same study, a defendant who was better looking than his victim was assessed an average fine of $5,623; but when the victim.

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Episode 220 – The Dark Side Of Goals – Nudge or Net

Almost everyone wants to accomplish their dreams, achieve more, become a better person, or pursue bigger and better goals. And we often know exactly what we need to do to make these things happen. So why don’t we do them? Why do we fall short of our dreams and aspirations?

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Writing down your goals coupled with a strong desire to reach them won’t automatically bring success if you overlook this one vital detail: Successes are not achieved if they aren’t first conceived mentally. We are told all the time to be positive, to change that attitude, to have a good outlook. In fact, we are so bombarded with these messages that they are easy to tune out. We gloss over “think positive” messages, saying, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard that before. Now get to the meat.”

In this chapter, we’re going to talk about much more than just positive attitudes?I call it “mental programming.” This mind training or self-persuasion is what gives great persuaders the psychological edge. It’s true that “you’ll only achieve it once the mind believes it.” By “programming” our minds, we dictate our future.

It’s just that simple. Think of your loftiest goals, your greatest aspirations. Do you really believe you can achieve them, deep down? Do you? If you can’t visualize your success, you are unlikely to ever experience it in real life. We are always thinking and processing information, and our thoughts either propel us closer to our goals or drive us away from our dreams.

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Episode 219 – The Forgotten Power

How to Command Attention with Power and Authority 

Great persuaders know and understand how to use different forms of power, but if you’re like most people, you just cringed at the word “power.” Is power something we’re really allowed to talk about? Is it good or bad? Can we have power over our audience?

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The answers to these questions depend on what form of power it is, how it is used, and what the user’s intentions are. We all possess different forms of power in different situations. It is human nature to respect and follow power and expertise, and power certainly has legitimate, ethical, and necessary uses. Of course, we know that power can also be used unethically to manipulate and control

Power is different from force. It is all about your intent. Power creates trust, it strengthens, and it empowers. Force must always be maintained, enforced, and warranted. Force sucks the energy and life out of people. True power encourages, revitalizes, and creates unity and synergy. Power causes us to listen and obey. Force causes us to be skeptical and run.

David R. Hawkins said it best: “Power gives life and energy; force takes these away. We notice that power is associated with compassion and makes us feel positively about ourselves. Force is associated with judgment and makes us feel poorly about ourselves.”

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Episode 218 – How to Resist Persuasion and Manipulation

I was asked an interesting question last week on a radio interview.  I was asked, “How can you resist or repel an unwanted persuasive attempt?”  He also asked, “How can you stop someone that always tends to manipulate you?”

I discuss this article here, and the persuasion ninja of the week.

On this podcast, I talk about ways to resist another person’s unethical persuasive attempt.  This is good to know for you as a person and as a persuader.  As a person, this information will help you resist unwanted persuasive attempts.  As a persuader, you will begin to see some of this resistance or behavior in your prospects and will need to adjust your presentation.  So how do you resist persuasion or even manipulation?

 

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