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In business and in life, your ability to persuade others can mean the
difference between success and failure, or between mere success and spectacular success.…

Persuade With Power
Kurt Mortensen
Latest Podcasts

Inside the World of Objections and Concerns

 When you become a great persuader, you will view objections differently than most people do. You will even welcome objections and enjoy handling them. Why? You will realize that when people voice objections, it indicates that they are both mentally interested and emotionally involved in whatever it is you are proposing, even if they are skeptical.

 Interested and involved?what more could a persuader want from their audience? It may be surprising, but when there are no objections during the persuasion process, the persuader’s success rate actually drops dramatically.  It is much better to get objections out in the open than to let them fester.

 Top persuaders do not consider objections or audience concerns as opposition. Rather, they view them as part of the persuasion game. Your audience will naturally delay as long as possible the moment of decision?the moment they need to say yes or no. This stalling can be used to your benefit. Dialogue and exchange of ideas can create a long-term follower, client, or customer.

 Great persuaders may even solve objections before they are voiced. No matter how good you get, objections will be raised, and the truth is that well-handled objections help you persuade. Your persuasiveness depends a lot on how you handle objections and concerns, and you can handle them best if you know what the most common objections are. There are thousands of excuses.   

 Many persuaders (without realizing it) show tension, uneasiness, or irritation when someone brings up an objection. Usually, this unrealized conduct occurs because objection stirs up the persuader’s own insecurities (often fear of failure or fear of rejection).

 The persuader thinks to him or herself, “Didn’t I go over that already? I’m doing a good job explaining things! Why is this person still not convinced? Why am I bombing this persuasive encounter? Do I sound like an idiot?” As understandable as this reaction is, it will only makes things worse. Your audience will sense your uneasiness and feel even more uncomfortable. Don’t set off more alarm bells than are already ringing!

 A calm, natural demeanor opens the door to persuasion and will keep it open in the face of objections. Remember: your audience cannot feel at ease if you don’t. They cannot feel relaxed if you aren’t. They won’t be enthusiastic if you aren’t showing enthusiasm yourself. In a very real way, you must create what you want them to feel.

These oxytocin genes may influence number of friends

You may be as friendly as your genes

Charisma is influence

 In other words, getting others to do what you want them to do and like doing it.  People get uneasy when you talk about influence, but just like power, it is neutral.  Some feel it can’t be learned, others get uneasy that it might get misused and some pretend it is not that important.   Charisma and influence go hand in hand.  It can be used with your leadership, your company, your children and even for making the world a better place.  Influence can get people to accept your ideas, brings people together and helps change stick.  I am not talking about selling skills.  I am talking about long-term sustainable change that people want to implement.  There is a direct correlation between your ability to influence, your charisma and your income.

The challenge is most people influence the wrong way.  You tend to influence how you like to be influence and that is completely wrong.  You need to adapt to the person and to the situation.  Most influence happens with subconscious triggers (see the subconscious section).  Everything you do, everything you say or how you make them feel will affect how your audience feels about you.  You are repelling people and you don’t even know it. When people sense a hint of force, deception, hype, or selling underlying any of your influence attempts, you will lose your charisma.

Audiences are tough.  People have built a lot of resistance to the old style of persuading and influence; many people have built a brick wall of resistance even before you’ve even meet them.  What can you do to overcome this tendency?  Your influence attempts must be nonthreatening and natural.  Forget loud and flashy.  That strategy only encourages more resistance.  And most definitely forget about high pressure.  Not only does that solidify resistance, it closes the door to influence.  When people feel they have been pressured, bullied, or coerced into doing something they don’t need or want, they become rebellious and resentful.

The Benefits of Laughter

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